In the last two months, I’ve been coming in here, to this blog of mine, and just staring at it. Looking through past posts and wondering, did that cat get my tongue? I wrote only two posts this past year. What happened?
So, I’ve been thinking I should just delete my little corner of the internet – but somehow – I can’t do it.
I’ve started and stopped probably 5 blogs over the past 5 years or so. I’ve written posts that people have loved and commented on….and then gone back and deleted them. A friend, who is also an author herself, has told me that I’ve written enough good stuff to write a book – little did she know I deleted most of it.
In the past year, my concentration has been elsewhere. My growing family, mostly, and my health – working to become healthier and spending more and more time trying to figure out ever increasing pain in my body. I think, honestly, I’ve had little to no desire to write anything.
That’s not the whole problem, though. For ALL of my life I have struggled to find my voice. So I believe that I find it for awhile – and then lose it again. I think to myself – in this age of information, why would anyone want to hear what I have to say? And so I hit the delete button, again and again and again…
I’ve been given a gift, though. I believe that right down into my toes. I have always believed that my ability to write is a gift to me. If only I could figure out how to use this gift – but so far, the figuring out part has escaped me.
If you’re here, reading this, thank you! I’m going to try my darnedest to come here more often. Because in my heart of hearts, I don’t believe that I can afford to hit the delete button any more. Somehow, I’m going to become brave enough to let my work, simple as it might be, remain. It’s time to get past this belief that I still seem to hold onto that my voice is small and not worth anything. Because that’s just nonsense, after all. With everyone in the world brave enough to let others know what they think through social media nowadays – well – I have a place here, too. 🙂