Have you ever used Angel Cards? They are decks of cards that have meaningful sayings on them – and they come with a small book that expounds on the saying on each card. One way to use them is to pick one at random every day. Today the card I picked said “Awakening Your True Self”
Inside the little book, when I turned to that cards meaning, this is what it said:
“You are beginning to recover your natural identity, including your old sense of humour, interests, passions and desires. Trust that any confusion or changes you’re currently experiencing are part of your healthful evolution. As if a cloud has lifted from your mind and heart, you are beginning to see life from the perspective of your old self. You just went through a period where you gave up who you are to please another person. You buried your interests, ignored your friends, and tried to fit in to another person’s lifestyle. Now, your old self is emerging! As you recover your authentic self, your life and your personality are going through big life changes. Hold tight, and allow these changes to occur. Know that you are building a solid foundation of truth, and that everything is working out perfectly right now”.
Huh! I have to say, looking back at the past two years, this card is right on the money! I did sort of ‘become someone else’ to please another person. I did bury my own interests, trying to fit into what I thought this person would admire. Because I was frantically looking for his approval. And even though I already had it, I wanted more of it. I needed him to keep believing, over and over, that I was amazing. So I had to do amazing things that he would approve of. Crazy? Yep. But it’s how I responded to this male figure in my life. And I’m only just now realizing it….after the fact.
The whole experience was not a bad one, though. I learned a ton of stuff from this person. But slowly, as he is less and less in my life, I feel my own strength being renewed. I feel a new confidence welling up within me that I had somehow lost. A confidence that doesn’t revolve around who I am to someone else. A confidence in who I Am. Period.
I think what I’ve learned most of all, is to stand back and observe who I become when a strong male figure comes into my life. Because I’m seeing now that I was truly not being my best self. And I need to be my best self…….no matter who I encounter in my life……pretty cool card I picked up today…wouldn’t you say?