I happen to have a driving route here in beautiful Victoria, BC which I call my Anger Route. It’s a fairly solitary country road that winds along the ocean toward the ferries away from Victoria, and hooks up with the main highway going back into the city. All told it takes about half an hour to complete, and, well, I take my time.
Why do I call it my Anger Route? Well, it’s where I do my physical anger work — getting the anger out of my physical body. As I drive, I scream. And yell. And holler. And rage. And sometimes I sob. This is a tool that I developed, with the help of my counsellor, and which I use during very dark times in my life.
Because……I have anger. LOTS of anger. In fact, sometimes my anger is so incredibly BIG it frightens me. And I think it has built up over a long, long lifetime of it not being ok to feel anger. So, I stuffed it. Way down deep.
They say that depression is suppressed anger. I know that when I start feeling depressed, if I can get in touch with those feelings, they are almost always about how angry I feel inside. And when I take the time to drive my Anger Route a few times, and use this very powerful (although probably strange-looking — and that’s why I choose a country road 🙂 tool, I begin fairly quickly to be able to bring myself back to a good place.
And for quite awhile now, I’ve been SO DAMMIT ANGRY!!!!!!!! So, this evening I began driving my route once again. It’s certainly not fun or pleasant, and I’m usually pretty exhausted by the time I get home…but if it helps me to feel better, and resume my life in a healthy way……then I’ll do it. It’s another form of self care for me.
If you’re angry, even if you don’t understand why, and you have some time, go for a drive, and scream your head off. Scream from the deepest part of your soul. It works. It might take a few trips, but getting that anger out of you in a healthy way that is not hurting you or anyone else, is the most important thing. Suppressed anger is not what you want to live with.
And…I hope it goes without saying, that if you’re really sobbing and cannot see the road, please, pull over! The intention here is becoming healthy, not endangering ourselves or others by driving when we cannot see! 🙂