Hello Blog World,
It’s been too long, I know. I have been working through some heavy stuff, and I wish I could say I was through it….but I’m not. And I SO have not felt like writing about it, ,thus far. I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed with life, lately. And exhausted. And mind-blowingly angry. And, well, dissociated. There’s that word. It’s a word I wish I did not have to use in my own personal vocabulary. But, you see, a few short years ago, I was fighting for my life through a nightmare of what’s known as ‘complicated grief’. And complicated grief is never really over…it just becomes…well...different.
With the last few months (years?) of not knowing which way is up at work, well, I think it pushed me a little bit over the edge. And I’m struggling to find my way back, honestly. There seems to be a part of me that needs some more healing…and that’s what I’ve been working on….
So, I’m (tentatively) creating this post, in the hopes that it will lead to others. I wish I could say I felt strong and had overcome….but I do not, and I have not. Yet, anyhow.
When I do get through this, though, I will be stronger for it. That, I do understand. And I will — get through, that is. Because there is no other option. I must move forward. Staying still, staying sick, is not something I will EVER give in to…