Hurry Up And WAIT!!!!!

Standard

How do  I feel tonight? N.U.M.B. Numb is how I feel. Inside me, right in this moment,  is a vast ocean of…………nothingness.  Unfeeling-ness. A black hole of going-through-the-motions.

Numb is not a healthy word in the vocabulary that is my life.  Numb is a crazy, scary, nowhere place to be.  I cannot live here long.  If I stay,  I will die here.  How do I know?  I’ve been here, before.

This transition at my work is killing me slowly.  I’m told to hang in there for awhile longer.  Just. A. Bit. Longer. is what they tell me.  But, how long do I hang in, now that numbness has set in?

They tell me to TRUST.  I’m obviously not doing a good job at that anymore, either.  They tell me God is in control.  But I am doubting even that.  They tell me there’s strength in the waiting.  If that’s true, why do I feel weak?

When do I say ENOUGH?  What holds me back from saying that word?  Am I afraid of all that that word could mean?

How do I know the answer?  Quite possibly, I already know.  When the thought of leaving this place brings me RELIEF, that might be just the answer I’m looking for…….

Advertisements

About chere

Hi there! My name is Chere, and I love to write, and initially created this blog to do just that - write! I am first and foremost a mom of 3 amazing young adults, 2 great children - in - law, and 4 grandbabies that are the love of my life! I am also a Reiki Master Practioner, and an office administrator. I live in beautiful Victoria, BC and I'm just a gal who's been around and learned a few things along the way. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy! Chere

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s