So Much To Distract!

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I’m learning about moderation.  The term ‘everything in moderation‘ has been a foreign concept to me most of my life.  And my ‘default’ is to avoid.  Or, a better word, to dissociate.  I can block out things around me that I don’t want to see like an expert.  But, that is changing.  Slowly, with babysteps, that is changing.  Because I can’t afford to avoid anymore.  It makes me really, really, really sick.  And who wants to be sick, after all?

I have three main ways that I avoid.  TV, computer, and food.  And admitting those things to you is a bit scary.  But I think that I’m far from the only one who uses these things as avoidance tactics.  In fact, I think I’m here writing about them more for me than you.  I’m putting them on the page to remind myself that yes, these are troublesome for me, still.  To remind myself to keep working on them.  To remind myself that I will find moderation. I’m determined to do so…

And still, after a lot of inner work, I struggle with these three. I can lose myself in these things, and so whatever else I’m feeling goes away for awhile.  But, it’s getting better.  I used to avoid by ‘going away’ – just zoning out for hours at a time.  Lying on my bed, staring at the wall.  That was when I was really unwell…and I’m way past doing that, now.  My life is so much better than it was back then…

How many of us use these things?  We think they’re ok.  Everybody does them.  And, to a degree, they are ok!  I mean, we need to eat, right?  But, when we’re eating or watching TV or playing computer games because there’s a little niggly feeling inside us that we don’t want to explore, that’s when these things stop being ok and start being dangerous.  Dangerous for me, at least, because I don’t want to live my life from a place of not being aware of what’s going on inside me.  Not anymore.  Not ever again.

So, I guess I’m writing this to remind myself, come on, Cher – you can do this!  You can live your life using ‘everything in moderation’!

 

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About chere

Hi there! My name is Chere, and I love to write, and initially created this blog to do just that - write! I am first and foremost a mom of 3 amazing young adults, 2 great children - in - law, and 4 grandbabies that are the love of my life! I am also a Reiki Master Practioner, and an office administrator. I live in beautiful Victoria, BC and I'm just a gal who's been around and learned a few things along the way. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy! Chere

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