I have a
serious case of the IRRITABLES these past few weeks. No, not days. WEEKS. I’m not sure what the heck is going on, but..I feel..hmm..disillusioned? Disappointed. Discouraged. By a lot of different things…work related, and other things as well. And a few people, as well. Things aren’t turning out the way I hoped. People are doing and/or saying things that are making me crazy. Things that I was excited about upon finishing school have somehow lost their importance. It’s like lights have been going out all over the place in my world..
And – I have no one to blame. No, this is about me. I’ve learned that much, by now. Other people can’t make me feel a certain way. I feel a certain way because of my own perception of things. This is something I’ve come to understand. Something isn’t right inside. Or, I’m not seeing things in a good light. Or…something.
Writing this, it sounds a lot like depression. I know about depression. Boy, do I know. But, I don’t think that’s what it is. Because in the midst of it all, I’m still taking pretty good care of myself. Which is one of the first things that goes when I get depressed..
Maybe I need a change. A BIG change. Like, a new job, maybe? Things at work have been in transition for a very long time. Maybe I’m just getting tired of not knowing what the future will bring?
I’m not sure, at all. But I’m definitely doing the detective thing to try to find out why I’m losing interest in things that were previously really, really important to me..
I’ll keep you posted…